Job's a good 'un (?)

It seems like the universe is giving me way too many reasons to skive from work. 'Swine flu pandemic', 'Snow drifts in the UK' , and also the kindness of the people I currently work with to give me 'working from home' time to tend to my personal affairs.

I've been working in my industry – the Management Consultancy industry since I left university in 2001. One of the many tensions with my recently failed relationship was the fact that I had to work away for long periods (that and Karen was insecure and didn't trust me due to baggage from her past relationship(s) ).

I also had ongoing frustrations with working away from home for so long and not being able to settle / have continuity anywhere. Particularly London, which I consider my home. I have had many friends that have drifted away as I've not had a chance to consolidate my relationship with them. The demands of my job plus the demands of Karen (for she was uber-demanding) meant I didn't have the time or inclination to go out, keep in touch or anything.

This because abundantly clear after my breakup. Whereas Karen is an attractive girl who decided to base her social life on all the men that had chased her whilst we were together – I was stuck for anything to do. My flatmate / landlord Terry was in Dubai for the foreseeable – I actually didn't have that much cash – or anyone I could hang out with (I had been working abroad for a long period of time, and the rest of the time was spent fighting with Karen or trying to keep her happy)

Slowly but surely, I've built back up a semblance of a social life. I'm still hamstrung by money at the moment – having ridiculous outgoings on my car, car insurance (I have a big car and had an accident last year – doh!) and a holiday in Feb. Calling on old friends from school, ex-uni mates, and other satellite mates who actually were up for reconnecting has seen me maintain some form of sanity.

So my point is – after the breakup with Karen, I went to therapy and soon found out that I was deeply unhappy with my job and industry – these were the key reasons why:

i)Working away from home in a strange place.
ii)The people are generally single, cheating on their partners or going through a divorce
iii)The main form of entertainment is getting drunk. (Whilst good on the odd weekend – most nights during the week? No thanks)
iv)As explained above – no opportunity to consolidate relationships or friendships or what-have-you. Very frustrating

I actually enjoy the work I do. I went in yesterday and threw myself into it – and was happy when I made a major breakthrough on some ridiculously difficult work I have to deliver. As it is – I can't consolidate that – as I've used a GP's appointment and the snow as an excuse to work from home.

At the end of last month – I was offered the chance to apply for Voluntary Redundancy. Now for those who know me – the term 'redundancy' strikes fear into my heart – even if it was prefixed with 'Voluntary' (which I assume affords a deal more respectability). I, in the past, have been a bit of a career snob. I think myself as a lot more ambitious than the majority of my friends, and more successful. I took pride in this, foolishly. I have since realised how 1-dimensional my life is and how much well-rounded theirs are. Not that it's a sign of failure – but the fact that they are getting closer to settling down or have settled down and are having children and I'm nowhere near that – is telling. Not that I let that get to me – I embrace where I am and I am enjoying my life at the moment – 'everything happens for a reason'


So anyway, my company gave me the opportunity to obtain a monetary quote attached to going for Voluntary Redundancy. I had a look and it was pretty damn attractive – given I'd been at the company only for a year and that.

I got to asking advice from various important people in my life – Karen (yes she was still lingering around at that point), my best friend Simon, my mum – and they all said the same thing – 'You've been unhappy for a long time with your job, you should go for it'.

Bit more background here – the previous job I had with a Big 5 consultancy I was there for 2 years and the first year was hell. The 2nd year was made a lot better by the fact I made some great friends when I was there (who I am still really good friends with). But, the hours were long, long, long and I got it in my head that I wanted to 'get back to basics' and changed jobs – only to endure more of the same misery at the new job that I did at the previous one. Sigh.....

So I went for VR (Voluntary Redundancy). Problem was due to UK Employment Law or similar – I had to wait on a 90 day consultation period. During this time – I managed to work from home on a project and then when I finished, avoid being re-assigned to a new project. In one sense it was bliss – I was lounging in my pyjamas – eating healthily, watching TV, recharging and recovering from all the stress of the Karen fallout. On the other hand, I had A LOT of time to think, and ouch did I think too much – haha... oh well – I think it's made me stronger going forward. My problem with my last relationship breakup was it took me 3 bloody years to get over that. This is probably been 4 months and although I know there are still some residual things there – I do feel a lot better in a lot of ways.

So during this 90 days, I found my dream – to become a ski instructor in the States – that was the dream – the redundancy money would pay for the course, pay off my debts (car and credit cards) and give me some spending money until I would be earning for myself.

I love skiing – being doing it for 3 years – but only actually one holiday – in France. Rest of the time have been on the snowslopes in Hemel Hempstead. But I took to it quite quickly and loved the feeling of flying down the slopes at speed and trying new surfaces, things and that.

So I sounded out the places I was considering and got my plan together (buying equipment, practice sessions etc etc.). Now I had to sit and wait.

It was AGONY – as my redundancy reps updated me I went from 'I'm definitely going to get this' to 'there's no way I'm going to get it' and was horrified at the prospect of having to stay in the UK and not be able to escape my problems with my job and with Karen.

Towards the end – I thought I was definitely going to get it. And as 11th December rolled around – I was told that my application for VR had been declined. Gutted. Distraught.

But I went on the 'everything happens for a reason' tip and now here I am. Lots of my friends, whilst sad for me – offered me perspective in the way of at least my company value me. Balls to my company I say – they value me because I earn them money. That's that.

So here I am – sitting here. Writing a convoluted background to possibly nobody (I doubt anyone has read this – still very therapeutic for me though) on the issues I have with working my job. The thing is – I need this job as it pays a great deal of money and I need to work to a) Paying off my debts and b) Saving for skiing instructor's course.

Problem is – I am moving to a more expensive part of London in a few weeks – I've built up lavish tastes.

On the flip side – it is only for 6 months – and those good friends that got me by my last job – are all based in Birimingham – so I have sounded out the possibility of moving up there for a bit in an attempt to save money and also have a laugh. We'll see... it is, after all in 6 months time – and anything can happen in the interim period.

I need to look at the positives of my job:

i)It pays me a lot of money – that I can enjoy. Funds my skiing hobby, football season ticket, going out with friends, eating good / healthy food, gym membership etc etc etc.
ii)I actually do enjoy the work itself
iii)I am paying off my debts quicker with this high paying job

I need these 3 to counterbalance the negatives listed above and I'm set! Now therein lies the challenge.....

Cheers all – hope you're not being too snowed in at the moment!

D